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[solipsistically]

You've reached Number Five. Leave a message or don't. I don't care.

Comments

Jan 15 » texts

[deadlycurves]

So do we have any kind of plans of how to avoid getting hit by auditory hypnosis?

[solipsistically]

I'm not going to let some local idiot force me to change my habits. I'm not that worried about it. Just read the news in the morning and I'm certain there will be headlines every day until he's caught, talking about what parts of town he's in. Just avoid those parts of town. The local authorities will handle it. This is small potatoes, Number Two.

[ He says, not realizing that he's absolutely going to be affected in the next few days because he's putting a lot more faith in the local media than they've earned, as it turns out. Ask him in a few days, he might be singing a different tune. ]

[deadlycurves]

So you think you're... what, above the possibility of being hit by this?

[Five, are you stupid? He knows you've done the solitary hitman life for, like, a whole age at this point, but honestly. Auditory powers don't sound like something anyone can just avoid, if you ask him.]

text; nc

[imprudency]

left you a little present
some adoring old lady at work gave it to me and i thought i would share the joy since i'm currently making an attempt to be a 'better version of myself' or whatever bullshit those chicken soup books try and sell you on

it's wine
fancy red
there's chocolates too but i figured you could wake your cold dead soul and give those to prim on my behalf
ta~

text;

[solipsistically]

Keep it up and you might end up my favorite brother yet, Number Four.

I'll make sure Prim gets the chocolates, don't worry. Thanks for this. Looks like a vintage, tell your adoring old lady she has great taste.

[imprudency]

oh hard pass i think grandma wants to get freaky
which all the power to her she even has her original hips
but ill make sure to pass her your number xoxo

special delivery; 9/9

[rumores]

[ On Wednesday, a delivery is made to Prim's and Five's apartment. Two gifts are addressed for Prim, and a box has a note for Five. ]

Thank you for having me over this weekend. It meant a lot.

If you ever want someone with you while you drink these, let me know. I promise to be better company next time.

Love,
A.

text;

[solipsistically]

I got your note and made sure Prim got her gifts. Any time, Allison. I mean that.

I always want someone to drink with.

[rumores]

I appreciate it, Five.

Good to know, I'll take you up on it.

[ Even if it's just for a tiny drink or just to keep him company. She and Klaus have trashy TV marathons to bond over, and she and Five can bond over nightcaps. ]

I'll swing by tonight, if that works for you.

9/19 - mirror, private;

[imprudency]

You alone? You need to be.
Allison was attacked this morning. She's as good as anyone can be, all things considered, but the attack was deliberate, not random.

[ There's nothing sing-song or easy in the way he speaks, no warmth. But he sounds casual enough, matter-of-fact, a little too still for a man like Klaus. ]

One got away.

[solipsistically]

I usually am this time of day.

[ Though, when Klaus goes on, Five's jaw sets; clenches and releases, just once, but his expression remains drawn.

He nods, pauses in thought, clears his throat. ]

Do we know what they look like? Because that doesn't work for me and I'm assuming it doesn't work for you, either.

happy birthday; 10/1

[imprudency]

[ Klaus can't teleport like Five, but he does happen to know when his brother is out and about, thanks to their agreement. Which may be why, when Five returns, he finds a box left on his bedside table. It's wrapped in the comics section of the newspaper, and not particularly well. Inside are reusable Keurig cups, a bag of dark roast, death wish coffee beans, and a coffee grinder.

The top of the gift itself simply has HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY XOXO K scribbled in sharpie across the wrapping. ]

text;

[solipsistically]

Ha, where did you even find these? These are great. Thanks, Klaus. Happy Birthday.

happy birthday; 10/1

[rumores]

[ Allison knows she could have probably gotten him something different than what she had already gotten him as a thank you not too long ago, but considering their little routine and the fact that Five has to rely on suppliers for his fix since he can't buy this himself, she hopes that he likes the new bottle of scotch she had picked out for him.

For your collection. Happy birthday, Five!

Love,
A. ]

text;

[solipsistically]

Have I mentioned lately how much I appreciate you? I fucking love Glenlivet, good call. Such a good call.

delivery, 10/1;

[themanofiron]

[ A box is dropped off at Five's apartment, with a bow and a small note:

Happy birthday. Hope you have a good one.

- Tony ]

text;

[solipsistically]

Thanks, kid. You have good taste in liquor. I knew I liked you for a reason.

text, late 10/3;

[imprudency]

[ He's had a lot of time on his hands, what with being unable to really sleep and all, and it's late when he finally messages his brother. He's sleep deprived and a little manic, but who wouldn't be, right? ]

when i'm not tied to the proverbial train tracks of recovery we need to do a family training session
and if you tell allison i'm awake right now i'll send every doting old dead mother to haunt your schoolboy ass faster than you can jump
i gotta get better at this shit before it's too late and yes i can already hear dad saying told you so

[solipsistically]

When you're better, I wholeheartedly agree. It'd be nice if we could talk Prim into joining us, but the little pacifist that she is, best I can imagine I'll get is maybe talking her into watching us.

Either way, the four of us should absolutely get back into it and, maybe more importantly, we should teach Vanya. She didn't train with the rest of us and one can only learn so much by osmosis. I'm guessing she's going to need a lot of work. How rusty do you feel?

Relax, Number Four. Welcome to my world. All I ever hear is dad saying I told you so.

How are you two doing? I'm trying to give you space since I can't imagine Allison not hovering and you hardly need us both doing it.

text; 10/8

[imprudency]

took a little stroll this afternoon and left a gift in he form of a brown paper bag on your welcome mat
the lady at the liquor store knows me by name and even has "my" liquor of choice ready for me weekly
i am honored to hold the title of family drunk even now when i am as dry as your personality on the best of days
enjoy!

[ ... is this a Klaus Hargreeves thank you? Yes, probably. ]

[solipsistically]

We all know who the real family drunk is these days, Klaus, don't let it bother you. You don't have to, you know. Keep going to the liquor store for me.
Allison can do it. Or a friend of mine has offered when she goes.

[ He's absolutely talking about Cindy and a small part of him almost wants to just tell Klaus not to worry about it anymore and reach out to Cindy instead so that he's got one more excuse to see her outside their sparring. ]

But thanks. What's it for?

[ Translation: what's the catch? ]

8/2;

[imprudency]

operation brown bag has once again been completed
over and out mi amigo.

also i helped myself to your coffee
it's a wonder your tiny little heart hasn't exploded
i never knew caffeine could be so exciting

[solipsistically]

Thank you.

Perfect, please tell me you didn't leave a mess of grounds behind this time? Prim beat me to cleaning it up and she probably thought I had a seizure or something over there.

backdated to may's arrival video;

[klebrige]

[ The messages come scattered, broken up, frantic, like he's texting and webbing or struggling with what to say. A Peter Parker first. ]

hey
um
idk what to say
but i think my aunt is
that's her video and
she doesn't know
i'm going to go find her


what do i do

[solipsistically]

I think so, too. Calm down, it's okay. Go find her. Bring her home. I'm putting some coffee on. You got this, kiddo. She'd got a second chance at life. Make it as easy for her to adjust to as possible. You know Prim and I will have your back.